[carricitos]
Rose Hunter

pick a starting point and it can’t be
when I saw your lion shoulder or
when you dipped your sunglasses said
if i break it i can fix it and what
we’re like when after we can say we must have been
dreaming_________ __ carricitos
last day i said yes
_________ __ there is a greyhouse behind the branches and boulders
grey pillars and missing walls_________ __ where i dropped my flip flops
because you did and you said they will be fine
and if they are not i will buy you new flip flops_________ __ you and your
vast carelessness_________ __ on the rocks
take my hand and i did
but with the other going for ground
hand to ground_________ __ things could be different but they’re not
carricitos when we are looking out over we are looking
back
_________ __ the palm the huanacaxtle the blue jays’ tails
six years ago you were here_________ __ recurring
to hide in plain sight this beach_________ __ knows it
although this is not the real secret
the real secret is something inside that thing the color of
a coconut when there is a brown and a yellow and a green
in front of a log with paw prints_________ __ seriously
looked like a big cat and those rocks were like paws
treacle between the pads
imagine it_________ __ what is the image i will hold of you now
where is that photograph
postdated you said supervening i said following
your blue flames
people drown here
when the thing to do is let it take you
people fight and they drown
_________ __ in the spare room with curtains drawn
that i can
pack up my life in twenty minutes you called it
astonishing i called it_________ __ dawdling
box with edges like fence posts or rebar_________ __ this representation of
reinforcement on a box
i say there is no point
staying if just to tomorrow_________ __ i want to leave with this photograph
what we’re like when after we can say we were dreaming
_________ __ this happened too
there are so many paths everywhere
i cannot proceed in order
_________ __ day of the dead we crossed the stream
aguar los duendes as you held out your hand
like to a child hup_________ __ i hupped and was on the other side
arm against your side where you were
_________ __ soft belly lion
the graveyard was burning white crosses and red hearts

up close to see the jagged cuts in the canvas
and how the back was attached with staples
_________ __ wearing your chiang mai muay thai pad thai
you bought chocolate cake and please
tell me the things that are not in it i didn’t say
_________ __ please tell me all the things it is_________ __ not
two spoons and what
would happen if i moved mine over
would i see the flash hear the click of teeth
how many things can we say more than once
that we will then think are true
_________ __ to cast aspersions when what i wanted to_________ __ amend
carricitos_________ __ you camped here
when a turtle house was a napkin sketch
and a model with popsicle sticks
to amend
_________ __ everything should have been harvested then and at least
i said it’s beautiful what you built
when what i meant was because it was you and yours

what happens when you finish a house
well you just have to leave it_________ __ start over
and to address it finally_________ __ your teeth
were not bear like with a need to hide them
yet you did not smile often and there are no pictures
of you smiling
_________ __ this is not you this is not yours you are not this
but leaning over to prop up the sign camino termina you were
astonishing saying baby i hate you but it’s a joke you were
astonishing saying that oil palm was very old you were

astonishing up the path carrying my flip flops_________ __ re minder
you liked to see me suffer
_________ __ redivider lady i do
feel you calling to me_________ __ that backbone
things could have been different they really could
a path was just a path
it was nothing it was a dream it was everything abandon
given a shot of reality sounds
not like palms in the wind smells
not like burning banana
leaves in your driveway
_________ __ cowboy hat and you
are blowing out now_________ __ into the white light burning
i could not even photograph it

what did you think of that oil palm
_________ __ stranger

except that it was old

and did you notice the greyhouse
what about the coconuts what
was the sun on your back
and what did green look like to you


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* [Playa] Carricitos: Carricitos beach, close to the town of Sayulita, in Mexico.
Sometimes spelt “Carrizitos;” possibly meaning “little reeds.”

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words: Rose Hunter, Mexico (YB / Fotos del Dia)
image: 'sliver' - Michèle Larocque, Canada (blog / images)

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another angle to ourselves: memory revises us (#27)