waking up heart racing i wonder how much more acceleration it can take. pushed by chemicals, adrenaline, and anxiety's alterations, some days it feels like it's going to blow. i wonder if you crawled into it's ventricles would you see the places that have withered from guilt. the great cardiac muscle is constantly flexed toward fear, but is beginning to atropy from keeping it so hard in attempts to control my perception of pain. slip through the atrium down into my lungs, you'l l find cavities that can hold more neuron killing smoke longer than anyone i've ever been around. maybe it's not from good lung capacity, but a desperation deeper than the marrow of our bones.
breaking rock instead of bread we'll still be sweeping away crumbs and looking for them when hunger sets in. while you're floating in my lungs please pull the plug i used to caulk holes inside. let the air seep back in. i need to breathe. my arteries clotted by indifference -- the only word suitable for shame cause if the truth gets too close these walls will close completely. swallowing too many words, sentiments and fragments of myself this body remembers everything its mind wishes would melt away when spring sets in. heart racing with every thought i've yet too think, i feel it's thumping against my breast bone with every breath i slowly inhale trying to get a lung full of life. if it blows, pick up the pieces and read the story scribbled inside the cardiac walls. they'll talk back to you, weeping.
words: Jasper Stone, webland
image: Ella & Sebastian, Germany ((de)focused geeks)